


The trial that shook the castle

by Arean84



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Guilty Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Magic Revealed, Minor Character Death, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29743923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arean84/pseuds/Arean84
Summary: Morgana died during her second invasion of Camelot. The consequences are not what anyone expected. Camelot is shaken to it's very core.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Arthur had thought that Morgana’s defeat would bring a glorious time. In many ways it was. There was just one tiny problem. The night after the battle, Merlin was seen by several guards, weeping over Morgana’s body. That might be expected of him, fool full of feelings that he is. But allegedly Merlin said “I’m sorry I failed you Morgana”. Which is worrisome on it’s own. And allegedly, Merlin had magically made flowers. Which was … impossible, yet had convinced the guards enough to knock Merlin unconscious without any warning. Brutally. The whole Citadel had been in an uproar before Arther even knew about it. Between the people adamant about Merlin’s loyalty and innocence, and the people who wanted him dead immediately, it had almost erupted into a civil war. Arthur had always known that Merlin was controversial. But this was way beyond what he ever suspected. This was the boy, well man, that had been crucial in reconquering the Citadel twice. Who jumped in front of danger to save Arthur. Multiple times, without any hesitations, since the first day he had arrived. Who stood beside him against dragons, sorcerers, bandits, monsters, …. The unwavering staircase that had raised him from boy to king. The only one clever and brave enough to oppose Aggravain’s deception. Merlin had been right all along, about everything. The longer the chaos lasted, the more Arthur realised all this. If only he had found a way to properly acknowledge Merlin without losing him. Regarding the magic, Arthur started to realise it was really less important than Merlin’s life.

The chaos raged on and Arthur couldn’t effectively deal with it since the accusation that he was enchanted quickly gained traction. It was startling to see how many people eagerly dismissed his entire relationship with Merlin. That it finally made sense how Merlin could get away with his laziness and insolence. Did people really forget so easily what Merlin had done for Camelot? And how hard he worked? Uther’s old guard were all coming on strongly that Merlin should be killed immediately without a trial. That he had been too close to the crown for too long. Arthur was adamant not to repeat the mistakes of Tom and Gaius and lost his temper with just about everyone on the council. On top of that was the entire mess whether Merlin himself was enchanted or not. If he recently got infected with magic or not. If he was a spy from Essetir or not. Arthur’s closest knights were getting ready to cut everyone down to break Merlin out of the jail. Through the night, nobody in the Citadel had gone to bed and the chaos was only getting worse. People continued to arrive in the city and kept the momentum going. Helios men still needed to be cleaned up. There was a small dragon roaming about. Foreign soldiers were gathering at several borders. Gwen’s return also made people uneasy and the nobility was still reeling from Agravaines betrayal. Through it all were the legions of drunks who had eagerly celebrated Morgana’s death and the recapture of Camelot. Tension nearly exploded when word got around that Gaius had been attacked while trying to tend to the still unconscious Merlin. It was uncertain what really happened, in any case, Gaius was now unconscious as well with no one left in the Citadel capable of tending to him. Or to Merlin. At least he started to show signs of awakening. Tempers were flaring, accusations souring, swords loosened. Arthur was nearly at the point where he would start bashing heads if people didn’t start remembering to shut up when he spoke.

Geoffrey suddenly came up with a solution. There was a creature hidden in the vaults that could eat up someone's magic. Arthur didn’t really want to think what this meant for all the sorcerers that his father had burned. Nevertheless, without magic Merlin couldn’t be a threat to anybody, so there was no problem with giving him a full trial. Surely any and all enchantments Merlin might have casted would be destroyed so nobody would doubt Arthur’s state of mind anymore. It also had the added benefit of keeping Merlin safe from magic’s corruption. Surely it couldn’t be too late. That compromise quickly gained everyone’s approval and so it was done. The trial was to be held as soon as Merlin woke up. Which wasn’t even half a candlemark after Merlin was drained. Well it would all be over soon then. Arthur was sure he would walk away from this with Merlin by his side. Arthur barely sat on his throne when Merlin was escorted inside by Gwaine, Percival, Leon and Elyan. Their hands on their hilts but clearly considering everyone a potential threat to Merlin, instead of the other way around. Gwen was following close behind while having her arms full. After some fussing Merlin was sat down on a stool, with a pillow under him, a bread roll in one hand and a bottle of milk in the other. Arthur didn’t blame him in the least for looking totally confused. So he gestured for Merlin to finish both quickly. The throne room kept on filling up since nobody even thought to keep this trial secluded. Eventually the new arrivals had to be redirected to the courtyard. It seemed that Merlin was equally well known throughout the city as in the Citadel and everyone had something to say about him. Merlin finished eating at the same time as the doors closed so they could finally get to the bottom of this mess.

“So Merlin, I’m sure you’re mighty confused and you look quite exhausted. So I’ll do my best to make this quick. How did you fail Morgana? There will be no interruptions until you finish your explanation, but try to make it quick. None of your blabbering now, everyone is already tired.”

Arthur had tried to lift Merlin’s spirits with that. Some light banter and insults. It didn’t have the desired effect though. Merlin looked so sad and lost. He hadn’t looked Arthur in the eye once. After a heavy sigh, in an otherwise dead silent throne room, he started to speak. “I suspected Morgana had magic since Sophia and Ulfric were here. They were Sidhe, actually. Trying to regain their immortality by sacrificing a mortal prince.”

Wait, what? This didn’t go at all as Arthur had envisioned. Sophia? Didn’t he have a thing for her years ago? What on earth were Sidhe even? And sacrifice him? And how long ago was this again? Wait wasn’t that the first time he called Merlin a friend? If he had, Merlin didn’t seem to remember it in the slightest. Totally hunched in on himself. Slightly trembling, fidgeting, his voice hitching every other word. . This prompted an unbidden memory. When Merlin had later brought it up that they were friends, Arthur had dismissed it didn’t he. Hadn’t Merlin understood? Didn’t he know? Arthur started to feel like the last certainties in his life were starting to roll from under him.

“Morgana was a Seer, she saw the future in her dreams. While it isn’t magic in itself, it’s so close to it that most people don’t differentiate between the two. Gaius had been giving her progressively stronger sleeping draughts in an attempt to suppress her ability, to keep her safe.” Safe from what, Arthur wondered. Nevertheless, it stung him greatly that Morgana, Gaius and Merlin hadn’t thought he should know about this. One look at Gwen made clear that she had known. Or at least a big part of it. “Anyway, Morgana had seen Sophia drowning you in the lake before they even arrived in Camelot. She gave the clearest warnings she could, without drawing suspicion to herself. But nobody listened to her, or to me. Without Morgana’s vision, I wouldn't have been able to kill them before the sacrifice was completed. Nomather how the story was sprung, Morgana was certain then that she had prophetic dreams.”

Arthur already regretted his spiel about no interruptions since his head was already bursting with questions. One quick glance around the throne room showed that everyone was shocked. How was it possible that nobody had even a clue that all this had transpired. And Merlin had killed? He mentioned it so casually too. Like he did it every other week. He saw his realization reflected in the eyes of the four knights, who now looked at Merlin with some uncertainty.

“She probably thought that it was in itself magic. I can hardly imagine how scared she must have been. I wanted to show her my magic. How I used it to help and protect.” Oh no! This meant that Merlin had magic all this time. Arthur always knew there were things Merlin didn’t tell him, didn’t feel comfortable to share. His disappearances to the ‘tavern’, the ‘funny feelings’, the many times he ‘saved’ him. Uneasiness spread throughout the throne room. Arthur had expected vindication and anger, but no. It seemed nearly everyone started to realise just how much they hadn’t known. 

“But Gaius forbade it. He was convinced that Morgana was better off not knowing. Though I think that she already did, at least subconsciously. It’s probably why she went so far for Mordred. He was the first sorcerer she personally met. I think she saw herself in him. Trapped in a castle full of people who wanted him dead for something he never chose to be.” As that little tidbit of knowledge sunk in, the expressions all around turned from unease to equal parts disbelief, outraged or horrified. Morgana had been afraid of them. Of his father. Of him. “Looking back, that probably was the start of a chain of events that made her feel increasingly alone and vulnerable in Camelot.” Nonono. Morgana, she had been his sister once. He cared for her. Then. Surely she knew? Knew that he wouldn’t hurt her? Not then, anyway, truly. He wanted to shake Merlin thoroughly for keeping all this from him, yet he needed to be strong and composed. As much for Merlin’s sake as for Camelot’s.

“Like in Ealdor. As far as you knew Will’s magic won us the battle, saved the village and then he sacrificed himself to save your life.” Merlin had his eyes closed and pinged his nose. His shoulder sagging as he hunched in on himself. “He deserved to be a hero. But you, you were just angry. Going on about the dangers of magic. It was like facing your father.” Arthur had always prided himself on being a Merlin expert. Able to decipher every emotion and disposition from his body language and how he pronounced his words. Yet this Merlin was a stranger to him. Overflowing with sorrow, regret, resignation, disdain, loneliness. All the things Merlin never was. No that wasn’t right. It’s always been there, just hidden. From everyone, all the time.

“I even wondered if you were disappointed that you couldn’t kill the dangerous sorcerer yourself.” At this point Arturt felt an ice cold dread settle into his stomach. This was all going to go so very wrong. He had tried to be so like his father for so long. Trying to gain his approval. Why did that suddenly seem like a terrible mistake. “I always said to myself that I wouldn’t place anything between you and your father. But when you said we weren’t master and servant that day, I came so close to telling you. You see, the spell was actually mine.” This revelation brought with it the first cracks in courtly decorum, soft gasps and grunts could be heard from several places. Arthur barely noticed. His mind was still stuck at the ‘talk before the battle’. ‘Please don’t think any differently about me’. .“Will was the only one other than my mother who knew about my magic. She sent me to Camelot when she found out that Will knew, even though he had kept the secret for years already.” That, that means that Merlin had Magic all along. Since he was a child. How come it didn’t corrupt him then? And what was Hunith thinking, sending Merlin to Camelot of all places. “Will was actually angry because I told him I wouldn’t use my magic to fight. He knew it was because of you. That I chose you over him. Camelot over Ealdor.” Bloody hell that all made sense now. And didn’t. Will had sacrificed himself for Arthur. For Merlin. And he had brushed it all aside. He didn't want to think about the implications at the time. About magic and heroic commoners. So he pushed it all away. Pushed … Merlin away? Merlin who even now still looked gutted by losing Will like that. Merlin never mourned. Arthur had never given him the opportunity. Merlin had stayed up all night with him only several weeks prior to Ealdor. When Morgana had been ill. Arthur had hated and needed it. Hated that he needed it. Merlin had stayed, no matter how rude Arthur had been. And Merlin ...oh gods.

“The first time Morgana made an attempt on Uther’s life was when Tom the blacksmith was executed.” That came as such a sock that people actually started to whisper among themselves, to make sure they heard right. It was rare to see everyone so open in the throne room. And since he couldn’t react himself, he started to observe. “ I overheard her conspiring with Tauren to kill him. I was so conflicted on what to do.” For the first time, Merlin displayed some real emotions. It wasn’t a pretty sight. “Wasn’t Morgana right? Wouldn’t Camelot be better off without him? The people safer? Why should I save the man who all but commanded my death after I saved your life? Almost executed Gwen and later did execute her father with the flimsiest of evidence, when they never posed any harm to Camelot or it’s people. Who so easily dismissed Gaius. Threw me in the stocks time and again. Confiscated my positions without a moment's thought. Threatened me. Who would burn me for the crime of being born with magic. Made people like me hunted and hated across Albion. Who prioritized his army over his starving people during the mess with the unicorn. Mistreated even his children when they disagreed with him. Why should I risk my life, use the magic he outlawed, to save a bloody tiran who his own family wanted dead?” Merlin's face was flushed after his tirade, and he was panting. He quickly started to reel his emotions back in though. Becoming almost like a demure inconsequential servant. Arthur hated the look on him. Halfway through the tirade, his thoughts were already a jumbled mess. The only things that somewhat jumped out were ‘born’ and ‘my father was a good king!’ Yet nearly everything Merlin told so far went totally against his father’s doctrine. In every way imaginable.

“That reminds me, if you kill a sorcerer, you would only stop the spells that they were actively maintaining at that time. Killing Anhora wouldn’t have healed the land. Killing Nimueh wouldn’t have stopped the wraith. Killing Edwin Muiriden didn’t do anything for the cursed beetle that was already in your father’s brain. But killing ‘Sophia’ did free you of her compulsion. Since you’re determined to continue the war against magic, you should really learn more about it. And I won’t be …” Come on Merlin. Won’t be what? Be able to help? Be around? Surely … Suddenly Arthur found himself in Merlin’s shoes and almost cried out. Merlin was a sorcerer on trial in Camelot. He was expecting to die. Because … ‘like facing your father’ … Because Arthur had failed him. Merlin didn’t feel safe with him. Probably never had. Merlin had always been there for him. When had Artur ever really been there for him? ‘We can never be friends. He thought Merlin had understood. In any case. The magic wasn’t a problem anymore. It was gone. There was no need to execute him. Unless Merlin didn’t know yet that it was gone. Because escaping had never even crossed his mind. 

“Gwen didn’t know what was going on but she convinced me to save Uther.” Well that yanked Arthur’s mind back to the present. “She said letting him die would just make her a murderer, make her just like him. So I ran to his rescue, again.” Again? That triggered Arthur’s memory. Hadn’t he said something about the wraith, and Muriden? So this was the third time Merlin had saved his father? Then didn’t he have an existential crisis about the previous times? Oh no. Merlin had considered killing Morgana because of this. Who was his friend. Oh Merlin, you’ve always been stronger than any knight. Nobler than any lord. Why on earth did you insist on cleaning chamber pots and all that rubbish?

“Killing Tauren’s men was easy, but Tauren himself caught me by surprise and knocked me out. By the time I came to, the crisis was resolved and Morgana was hugging your father. I don’t know what they said to each other, but it seemed to fix things between them.” Arthur remembered that. Morgana had cried out when she saw Tauren nearing his father’s back. Her warning was the only thing that had saved him. It was jaunting to realise how close he had come to lose his father that day. Because of Morgana. He knew she could be ruthless, vicious, lashing out, … But he never thought her capable of this. Not then, anyway. He never realised how deeply Morgana got hurt by Tom’s execution. Yet he helped, didn’t he? He got her out of the dungeons. Warned her that he couldn’t save her if it happened again. Warned her never to do it again. Warned her … that he wasn’t on her side? Which was true, wasn’t it. In the end he always stood with his father. He never had a choice in that. Did he? Discord in a court could be as bad as an attack. He fought his father as much as he could when he was wrong. Didn’t he?

“When that mess with the Questing Beast started, Morgana had seen your death in her dream. She knew it would happen, just like with Sophia. She knew she had seen the future. Yet it didn’t matter to her. You were in danger and she rushed to your side to warn you. That’s how much she loved you then. How much she loved Camelot. But you were just annoyed with her and sent her back to her room. I was too scared to intervene.” Is that how it had looked. He had been worried. Caught off guard. Morgana had run into the courtyard in her nightgown. Screaming. What else could he have done? He didn’t have time. No. That was an excuse. He could have walked her to her room himself. The patrol could have waited ten minutes. He had failed her just as much as Merlin. “I made a deal with the high priestess Nimueh to sacrifice my life for yours. It was the only way.” That name clearly meant something to the older people in the room. Arthur even recalled he had seen some reactions the first time Merlin uttered the name. It was a lot stronger this time. Suddenly Arthur jolted out of his contemplation when the word ‘sacrifice’ really sunk in. What had Merlin said at that time? Something about happily being a servant until he died? It was one of the reasons Merlin never got advanced in station. Although Arthur started to realise it had never been intended like that. “Whether Nimueh intended it or not, the deal didn’t roll out as expected and we ended up fighting. In the end I killed her and saved your life like that. Ironic, really. I hated your father so much, but in that moment, I became him.” This Arthur really didn’t understand. Yet some councillors started sweating and fidgeting. The ones that his father had appointed when he ascended the throne. Arthur needed time to think.


	2. Chapter 2

“Everything came to a head a couple of months later. Just like me, Morgana had such a strong connection with her magic that she was in part a magical creature. Denying her magic made her wither away. Until her magic escaped her and she set fire to her own room. She was so scared. So alone”. Bloody hell, just how much had been hidden from him. From Camelot as a whole. Whether it was because they didn't want to, or just weren’t able to, nobody had seen any sign of Morgana developing magic. Of her keeping such a big secret. This really didn’t bode well for the security of the castle, or about Camelot’s capacity to deal with magic. That’s not even considering that people developing magic against their will, was undermining Camelot’s entire doctrine regarding magic. From his observation, Arthur deduced that all the older people had actually known this, but all the younger people were strongly shocked. All of this has proven to be a big mistake. “At least Uther didn’t really pay attention to me and I had already learned to stop accidental magic when I was a child.” Now Arthur was really starting to develop a headache. Merlin must have been terrified all this time yet he never said anything nor wavered in his loyalty. “Gaius was convinced it was better to leave Morgana in the dark. Control the situation with stronger sleeping positions and such. I knew it wouldn’t be enough. Fear only makes magic lash out stronger.” Arthru’s brow furrowed in contemplation. Did this mean that magic was alive? An actual entity? He couldn’t really afford to think about that now, since something was happening with Merlin again. Merlin seemed to fold into himself, making himself as small as possible. Totally useless, since everybody was looking only at him. “If only I had told her about my magic, maybe all that followed wouldn’t have happened”. This, this means that Merlin blames himself for Morgana’s downfall. Which would suggest that it wasn’t the magic that drove her mad. “But I didn’t dare. And neither of us dared to involve anybody else.” Well this just about gutted Arthur. Some of the most important people in his life went through such a harrowing experience, and didn’t even think that they could rely on him for it. Nor, it would seem, on Gwen, who cared about those two just as deeply. At least she could show her distress clearly. It made Arthur jealous. Secrets. Secrets had torn all of them apart. “So I told her the location of the druids and she went to them. The both of us were so focused on getting her away from danger, we didn’t think about the repercussions.” Well shit. What word do you use when something is beyond tragic? Since surely, he was going to need that in about five minutes. He just knew it. “When I heard about the dozens of innocents who would be slaughtered for her freedom, I ran to get her back. I entered the druids camps just as Aglain was explaining the basics of magic to Morgana. That it’s nothing to fear, a force that can be used for good. I can’t imagine how that must have felt for Morgana. To receive confirmation that she wasn’t crazy or a monster.” Monster. Yes all this was was clearly shedding doubt on who the monsters really were. A thought he saw reflected all through the throneroom. It seemed that Camelot would never be the same after this, since surely the worst was yet to come. 

“When Aglain left I tried to convince Morgana to return. But even the death of dozens of innocent prisoners couldn’t convince her. No wonder really. What did she have here?” Her family! That’s what Arthur wanted to shout out for all the world to hear. Yet he couldn’t. Not anymore. “A soft bed and pretty dresses really aren’t much if it comes from an abusive guardian who would turn on her as soon as he knew what she was. What comfort does a castle give when it’s filled with people who are raised to hate you.” Raised to hate. Wasn’t that the truth. Was all of Camelot’s doctrine regarding magic a lie? He’s father had saved this kingdom from chaos and magic. That’s what he always said. Yet who else had ever said that? Who except … Agravaine. Suddenly Arthur had an epiphany. He had often wondered about the value and capabilities of his fathers counselors. They just never seemed to do something of importance. They were just there. Nodding along with what was said, as long as it followed the doctrine. As long as it stayed within his fathers views. “She felt at peace with the druids, she had found her people. And then you attacked.” Everything in Arthur’s head just froze. Time itself seemed to freeze. Morgana was never kidnapped. The druids died without reason. Like they had so many times. Slaughtered for no other reason than trying to help a girl in need. Arthur looked at his fellow knights. All hardened men. Strong and deadly. Completely loyal. Yet now, they only just held their composure. Some even had convulsing throats. If even one of them, or any other bystander really, were to lose their breakfast … Everything was falling apart. “You had followed my trail to the druids. Aglain died trying to help Morgana escape once more.” Merlin had gotten almost as pale as with the dorocha. Such guilt. Arthur had to keep it together. Camelot needed to get through this. Otherwise, they would never know just how deep they had to cut to make things right again. Which suddenly made Arthur notice that not everyone felt guilty or confused. Quitte a lot of people looked determined. Zealous even. All this could end up in civil war.

“So she ended up back in her golden cage. Where she was supposedly safe. I don’t know how she could stand all the boasting about her rescue. No wonder she was desperate to run into Morgause’s arms.” Yes. That seemed very plausible now. Camelot really had sown it’s own lament with those two sisters. “I never learned how many druids died because I failed them. Did you ever realise that every druid clan has enough magic to wipe out hundreds of Camelot’s soldiers? Controlling fire, moving things with the mind, connecting with animals, making illusions, letting roots grow… You would never stand a chance against them in the forest if they fought back”. That actually felt like a physical punch to the chin. Heads were snapping every which way all over the throne room. The druids indeed had never fought back. They were so pathetic that Camelot was doing them a favor by killing them suddenly. That was always the prevailing sentiment after a raid. Arthur had never felt so relieved before that he had already made peace with the druids. At least those horrors were already behind them.

“But her troubles didn’t end with that though. Not long after, Uther all but commanded Gwen to be abandoned.” Yes, that’s right. And this time Arthur helped! At least he got something right. It was a small relief. “I think at the time, Gwen was the only person in the Citadel that made Morgana feel somewhat safe. She was always there for her, but could never be a threat to her. Not even should she learn the truth.” That really made total sense. Even as the sister of a knight, Gwen had to make extra effort to get across that she wasn’t just pleasant smalls and caring gestures. “And then the Witchfinder. It must have been so frightening for her. To see how easily one could be accused, and forced to undergo torture.” Bloody hell, Arthur really hoped that things would get better after this revelation. Yet he knew his hope would be in vain. “It was my fault. I got so lonely sometimes that I comforted myself by making animal shapes with my magic. Or butterflies.” With that little revelation, Arthur nearly fainted. Merlin had to rely on his dangerous, evil, illegal magic to pick himself up. That’s how miserable he had been all these years and Arthur didn’t notice just how deep it all went.. Gwen was quietly sobbing while Elyan was just trying to hold her. “But really, you should reconsider Camelot’s approach to finding evidence. It’s so easily planted. Gaius' capacity to heal people was diminished for nearly a month”. 

“Then came Morgause. I’m sorry Arthur. Morgause, your father and me. We all manipulated you that day. Morgause’s vision was fabricated precisely to drag Camelot into civil war, which I had to prevent.” Arthur’s mind is fogged over, which is a very good thing at the moment. Were this realisation to settle in too quickly, something would surely burst. For if Merlin manipulated him, there’s only one explanation. His father and many other people lied to him his entire life. The very purge is built on a lie. Slowly he realizes that his father never denied it. Arthur had just assumed he had. Another realisation, one about Merlin’s loyalty, gets interrupted when Arthur’s battle instincts start to kick in. Delayed due to a foggy brain and surprise shock, accelerated since Merlin is involved, ultimately barely in time. “Dodge!”. The four trusted knights are extremely well trained and exceptionally skilled. Together with their profound trust of Arthur, it allows them to evade the four strikes at their heads. Merlin doesn’t even turn his head. Arthur is too busy to search for a sword to notice his expression. Yet he doesn’t need to, to understand that Merlin has lost the will to live. He doesn’t flinch as a swordpoint manages to nick him. Nor when the four elderly councilmen die on the swords of the knights. Their dying pleas to never let the prince know the truth. 

Time is a peculiar thing. How it can contract and expand beyond reality. The desperate attempt happened in seconds. Some saw everything happening in great detail and some feel like they blinked and missed it. The bodies on the floor, and what they implicate, was clear for all to see. Never in the history of Camelot had there been an attempt to silence a witness, or an accused, in plain sight. During the trial. In front of the entire court. Uther’s regime had created zealots and sycophants a plenty. All desperate to stay in power. To stay relevant. Who would burn the world to hide their guilt. Before Arthut could start reacting to this event, Merlin continued his testimonial. Whether due to genuine disinterest or a deep rooted desire to be heard, Merlin would speak the whole truth at last.

“Your parents loved each other so much that even decades later, your father still mourned your mother’s loss. When he said he never meant to harm your mother, I truly believe it. Also, a stable future for Camelot required an heir of both the Du Bois and Pendragon lineage. I’m sure you know this. Magic was the only way. A life for a life. Yet not in the way that you would think.” In the deadly quiet of the throne room, Arthur had resorted to clearing his head by making lists of people who would die for his father’s doctrine. The way they glared at Merlin gave them away easily. He had a feeling that there were fewer than he thought there would be.

The resurfacing determination in Merlin caught his attention. The next revelation was going to be big. “Everything I understand of magic, of that particular ritual and as a physician, tells me that the transference of life should have happened at your conception. Your mother can not have been the death that created your life. As far as I know, your mother died in childbirth as so many do.” Boom! There was no sound, yet Arthur’s ears were ringing so strongly he nearly became dizzy. No the dizziness was a lack of breath. Or too much breath. He heard his voice of reason tell him to take slow deep breaths. Or was that Merlin? What was happening again?

“Arthur!” Yeah that was definitely Merlin. “You can’t keep punishing yourself for your parents actions!” Deep down in Arthur something shifted. Like curtains being opened, or a painting being unveiled. Merlin had always known what was going on with Arthur, what he truly needed. He wasn’t holding back anymore either. Lots of things shifted around a bit in Arthur until everything settled in a different yet familiar pattern. Arthur took his slow deep breaths, feeling freer than he ever had. A feeling he saw reflected in almost all the people of his age, or younger. The older people were a lot more diverse in their countenance.

“In any case, killing all the swordsmen to get rid of the bandits and murderers, well …” Arthur couldn’t help but pinch his nose bridge and even let a soft groan escape him. Putting it like that, the Purge was stupidity on top of madness. “Sorry. I should be focusing on Morgana. I had planned to tell you the truth come morning, when the Pendragon rage had subsided.” Arthur decided to just roll with the punches. Off course Merlin would rub it in his nose that he had emulated the worst of his fathers character traits. ”But by nightfall, you were already convinced that magic was pure evil.” Arthur was watching some enterprising guards take the four bodies away and realised that their deaths were hardly a concern to him.

“I told you Alvarr and Mordred were in Morgana’s chambers. But off course you didn’t believe me enough to even search them and I was the idiot. Again. You believe, disbelieve, berate, protect and threaten me within the hour. I just never knew where I really stood with you.” Arthur was secretly relieved for the people who had started sobbing. After a certain point, what else could you do? Merlin had tried for so hard, for so long, for so little. A hero more tragic than the ancient Greeks. Even some of the zealots seemed less sure. 

“And then, we come to the tragedy.” Merlin’s entire body was tense now. Balled up as much as he could. Desperate to get away, yet completely stuck. “I didn’t know how to break the enchantment that put Camelot to sleep. I was already exhausted and we never would have been able to get out of the city. So once again I went to the dragon.” The entire throne room seemed to freeze. A tragedy concerning the dragon could only be one thing. Many people were desperate to know how the dragon had escaped. Who was to blame. If it was Merlin, he would lose all the goodwill he accumulated in an instant. “Apart from Gaius he’s always been the only one I could reach with knowledge and understanding of magic. He told me how to defeat Sigan, the Wraith, how to expose the troll, how to save your life after the Questing Beast.” So the dragon wasn’t a mindless beast. It made its own decisions. Once again, it was apparent that the older generations knew about this. Which was very worrisome. “He wasn’t consistent. One day he only cares about uniting Albion, other times about killing your father, or about getting released. I often felt like he manipulated me yet I needed him desperately. When I went to him during Morgause attack, he knew his moment had come.” Now Arthur was sure this wouldn’t be good. Negotiating from a position of weakness was to be avoided as much as possible. Out of desperation … may the gods have mercy.” Uther betrayed a long standing alliance, forced the Dragonlords to enable the slaughter of their dragons, burned them when they had no further use, and the most powerful dragon was shackled with a chain that could be broken by anyone with a sword.” Arthur gave up. Gave up on defending his father. His father had been a conqueror, a subjugator, a wrathful king. A broken man who couldn’t deal with his issues and took it out on everyone else. He would always love his father, even as he loathed the king he had been. Further musing was prevented when Merlin started yelling.

“The dragon refused to tell me how to break the sleeping enchantment until I set him free. So what was I supposed to do? I never wanted to decide Camelot’s faith on my own in the dark. But you weren’t there. You were never there when it mattered. I was out of time. Out of options. Camelot had already fallen. So I did it. I released the dragon.” Arthur had lounged to exact retribution or venance regarding the dragon attack. What did those feelings matter though, when once again his father’s doctrine and arrogance were at fault? Camelot ‘s only defense had been with Arthur at the time. Morgana had been turned away from them due to his father’s hate. Morgause had been driven by vengeance and the dragon had always been too dangerous to keep locked up. Arthur tried his absolute hardest to stay rational, otherwise he would throw himself on his knees and beg for Merlin’s forgiveness. With all the strong emotions rampaging through the throneroom, one would forget that all this was actually the hardest on Merlin himself. Which was exemplified by how he went from yelling to crying in a couple of heartbeats.

“And when that old bastard told me how to break the enchantment … His solution was a very simple one. Kill the source. Only the source was Morgana. I had to kill Morgana.” Gwen broke all protocol and propriety as she hugged Merlin against her. Their sobbing for their lost friend the only sound in the stunned silence. 

With practiced ease Merlin composed himself again and carried on. Stubborn and determined as always. Dragging everyone along on this hellish journey. “I have so many regrets, but that day weighs more on me than everything else together. I’m not even sure if Morgana was a willing participant in the attack.” Well wasn’t that the question. Nobody had died during the attack. The sole focus had been to kill the king. Morgana had already made such an attempt. Would Morgause have been satisfied with Uther’s death? Noone would ever know and it didn’t really matter anymore. Though it was clear that the later attacks were a lot more brutal. Uncairing of innocent bystanders. Out of revenge? “In any case, I poisoned Morgana with Hemlock. I made Morgause release the Knights of Mhedir before I told her which poison I used. Morgause took her half-sister, probably already her ally, so that she could heal her.” Arthur tried very hard to judge the strategy uninfluenced by the curse of hindsight. He always ended up stuck, unable to kill Morgana. He wouldn’t have been able to do that. Not then, anyway. Merlin was a true hero. 

“The crisis with the dragon was resolved after I inherited my Dragonlord abilities from my father. Even when I’m gone Killgarah shouldn’t bother Camelot again. I made sure of it.” In Arthur’s shocked mind, there was only one clarity. A question that seemed to echo a thousand times until it had drowned out everything else. Did Merlin let his father die out of loyalty to Camelot? Despite Arthur's wishes, the answer was easy. Yes. Merlin had risked his mother, his best friend and his childhood home because Arthur had been there. Merlin would risk all of Albion for Arthur.


End file.
